I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
