my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Randomize
