I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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