Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
This year I'm going to try NOT getting arrested. I think the 30th birthday is the cutoff for calling Mom to bail me out.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Randomize
