tell your sister to shave her snatch
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
