i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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