You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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