I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
false alarm, still single
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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