her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
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