i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
