i may or may not be watching the land before time
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
