If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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