Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
