why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
