I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
