Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Randomize