ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
