You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
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