It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
