Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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