I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
