That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
