There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
