Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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