yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
