Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
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