that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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