no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
Everything about him screamed your future.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
