I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
