my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
