super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I touched a dick in church today
You ate ashes out of my bong
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize