You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
