Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
