my sisters under your porch take her home
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
