guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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