Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
