Whod you bang
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
