I hate your face
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Randomize
