So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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