are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I need to stop coming to work sober
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I just licked honey off my own tit. Is there anything about that which doesn't SCREAM single???
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