Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
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