Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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