If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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