I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
you're hired as official boob wrangler
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize