Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
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