i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
i just sent this text using only my big toe
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
