I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
