We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
