He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
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