he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
