cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize