I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
