it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
