Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize