Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
