His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
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