If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
Two words: nipple clamps
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