hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
