It's Friday. Sex?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
